Disappointments and The Power To Choose My Attitude
You realize by now that I am not much of a planner, but I am a very determined person. As I set out from the East Coast, I didn’t even know what route I was going to take. But I knew California was the goal.
At first, making it to the West Side (LA) Scooter Rally was my intention. But the wind did me in mid-country and I knew the timing wouldn’t work out. But riding to California… still my goal.
The wind/ weather + the flat tire meant a detour by planes, trains and automobiles in order to get to NoCal for the family vacation. We actually caught a brief glimpse of the group who rode north from the rally while we were heading up to the rental house! I was more than a bit jealous, but knew my time wasn’t too far off.
Well, yesterday I picked up the Vespa (after a ridiculously long amount of time to dismount the wheel due to lack of grease applied to the axle) and was ready to head to Needles. Then, I had at least made it to California!
In my excitement about getting back on the road, and the long wait for the repair to get finished, I never re-checked the weather. Me, who basically lived on the Weather Bug App for a month.
I took off with glee… and made it one mile. I realized when I could barely turn my head because of the force against my helmet that I was in for it. Stopped to get food for Purl and did some recognizance. 23MPH winds with gusts of 36-40. WHAT??? I’ve become more than a bit skittish about riding in the wind- for a reason I still haven’t brought myself to write about, but it might be time.
Wanted so badly to get back on the road. Wanted to finish this part of what I started, even with just a symbolic touch into Cali.
Instead, I remembered where I had seen a U-Haul place and made my way there.
Getting pushed sideways even for that mile, I knew I was making the right decision. But the disappointment put a frog in my throat. Still does as I type this. Over the past few months, I may have come to the realization that I’m going to be on the road in some form or another for quite a while, but I truly view this part as an epic, amazing story. And, I’m still not able to write its conclusion.
As I rode the U-Haul back toward Sedona and the Flagstaff area, it was the first time in many weeks that I was moving in the late afternoon and the sun was behind me. I was heading East. California is going to have to wait.
While I was in Flagstaff the other day, I got to spend some time with a family friend who paid me the most wonderful compliment on my laugh and the authentic nature with which I respond to life. It led us into a discussion about attitude and the choices we make.
Admittedly, this latest turn has put this a bit to the test for me. I’ve shed tears for the first time. I’ve gotten a bit angry. Then, I reminded myself… every bit of this journey is a choice that I am making. And every goal that I set is self-imposed. You all will still think I’m a good human if California waits a bit, right? I say that with a smile and a laugh.
See you on the road!